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Nerd Bastards

SUMO Urban Lounge Gear: An Absolute Must Have

THIS PRODUCT HAS BEEN NERD TESTED AND BASTARD APPROVED.

Sumo Urban Lounge Gear…aka Sumo. Remember the name. You are going to want it.

Sometimes I sit back and think to myself, why the hell did I ever have my girlfriend buy me that Boom Chair? It sits in a corner of my room, upside down by the way, and has been it that position for a few months now. I hate that thing. Having to hook it up every time I want to play video games and always having the sound completely f*cked up. What a complete waste…

So as most of you know I attended PAX a couple weeks ago. Had a great time. Too many stinky people rubbing against me though…Attended Q and A’s, scoped out new products, checked out cool games, discovered a Sumo Omni. I was walking through one of the many “lounges” PAX had outside the main exhibit halls. I thought to myself, damn, I’m tired and need to sit down. I looked around and all I could see were these brightly colored beanbag chairs. At first I thought, f*ck, once I sit down in that thing I will not be able to get out of it, then I thought I hate bean bags but there was no bench in sight. Ok, I thought, here it goes. So, I, very cautiously, backed my butt downward onto the Sumo. Holy Hell, I was in Heaven instantly. Not only did this thing support my behind but I actually felt extremely comfortable once I was completely emerged into it. That never happens…

I looked around and no one seemed to notice how excited I was. People on both sides of me too busily emerged in their laptops to notice my supreme happiness…THAT had to be changed. So I turned to the guy next to me, and without even thinking, as usually, blurted out, is yours as soft as mine is? I hadn’t realize what I had said until he was like, what the f*ck are you talking about? I quickly re-ran those words in my head and then corrected myself. I laughed first then told him I was referring to the Sumo. He laughed and said it was the greatest thing he had ever sat in. At least I wasn’t alone in thinking this Sumo was amazing.

And now I’m here, telling you this story because once you go Sumo you never go back. I’m serious. I cannot stress enough how magnificent this Sumo Omni is. And here’s the thing. It comes in a bazillion colors (ok, well maybe 10) and costs less then the damn Boom Chair I don’t use. And it’s more comfortable. And you can position the chair in multiple positions so you can lay, lounge, sit, sulk, hang, chill, or relax in it. I’m telling you, it is AMAZING…I NOW OWN ONE!

So here are the facts. The Sumo Omni comes in 10 different colors: pitch black, charcoal green, platinum, midnight blue, fiery red, neon orange, hot pink, pure white, lime green and funky brown (I have lime green if you must know). It costs $149.00, free shipping. It comes FedEx 7-10 business days after you place an order. The Sumo has 10+ positions you can use. It is 4×5’ X 5.5 and weighs only 18 lbs. It is made from spaceage, rip proof nylon and is filled with Sumo beads (virgin polystyrene foam). It is easy to clean, with soap and water, and does not stain. They also have a 100% satisfaction guarantee.

And this isn’t the only type of Sumo they offer either. They have: Sumo Omni (which I have been talking about the whole time), Sumo Otto, Sumosac Gamer, Sumosac Couple, Sumosac Sultan, and Sumosac Giganor. And if that’s not enough you can go to bed on a memory foam mattress that they sell as well.

Check out Sumolounge and buy one. I promise you..you will NOT be disappointed.

CUTE BLONDE CHICK NOT INCLUDED.

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4/16/2014

When I was a teenager, we had a beanbag chair. It was huge, mushy, and we loved it. I think it was my favorite place to sleep, and my brother practically lived in it. He played video games while sitting in it, and watched television there. After a while, it got kinda flat though, and not so much fun. Continue reading →


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