Bloody Disgusting

Dec 19, 2012

Ann Tancio

This Sumo Ultimate Fur Cover Review Is Brought To You By Someone Who Refuses To Get Off His Bean Bag

If you consider yourself a fan of the bean bag — a bean bag connoisseur, if you will — you’ve probably heard of Sumo. A couple years back I reviewed the Sumo Gigantor and the Sumo Sway (spoiler: I loved them) and because Sumo’s elite team of Comfort Scientists aren’t content to simply craft affordable and alarmingly comfortable bean bags, they’ve come up with a way to make these mushy bags of pleasure even more pleasurable. Enter the Ultimate Fur cover. More after the break.

I never thought I’d own a bean bag. I mean, I enjoy them and all, but they aren’t really something that many people own. It’s difficult to maintain a certain level of feng shui with a bulbous mass of heavenly comfort sitting in the middle of the room.

Since I’ve become a proud owner of a bean bag, I’ve learned two things. The first is I love them unconditionally, with all my heart, because they bring me comfort and do not judge me when I get crumbs on them over long gaming marathons. The second lesson I’ve learned is there is no elegant way to get off a bean bag. No matter what you do, how physically capable you are, how often you work out — it’s always awkward.

The obvious solution is to simply never get up once you’re on one. Unfortunately, money soon becomes an issue, because eventually you’ll have to work. Most bosses won’t accept “I can’t come in today because I’m embracing my bean bag” as an excuse for missing a day (or three) of work. Then of course there’s friends and family, who don’t think twice about calling me when they know I’m sitting on my bean bag and my cell phone’s out of reach.

Anyway, all that’s a long-winded way of saying I love bean bags. I loved my Sumo Gigantor when I first received it (courtesy of the lovely people at Sumo Lounge!) and my love hasn’t faded a bit since then. Originally, my Gigantor was wearing what’s referred to as a Microsuede cover, but I’m pretty sure that’s just a more marketable term for the skin of a thousand unicorns. It’s just so soft, there’s no way it wasn’t torn from a mythical creature. That was great and all, but now there’s something that’s even more cozy, and Sumo Lounge is calling it Ultimate Fur. What creature donated its fur the pursuit of comfort, you ask? I’m not sure.

I’ve been analyzing this new cover in the Bloody Disgusting Test Chamber — by “analyzing” I mean “sitting on” and the “Bloody Disgusting Test Chamber” is actually just my bedroom — for several weeks now. My conclusion? It feels incredible. It’s soft and it looks like you have something from a Dr. Seuss book sitting in your room (though, sadly, the cover doesn’t come in bright orange… yet).

However, there is a downside.

Visually, it looks as comfy as it feels. The only problem is it sheds. It’s not bad shedding, but after I introduced into my home I’ve noticed some hair build-up on the area around it. I also made the poor decision of sitting it in front of a fan that faced my closet, and the next day there was hair on my clothes. Granted, people fucking love hugging me now, so that’s a definite bonus, but still – it’s something potential Sumo owners should be aware of.

If you’re looking to become a proud owner of a bean bag, Sumo has an impressive selection that, for their size and quality, are pretty affordable. They make for a fantastic addition to any gamer lounge (or man cave, gaming den, fortress of solitude, whatever you call it). If you choose the Ultimate Fur cover, you’ll also get the added bonus of training for pet ownership.

If you want one for yourself, head over to Sumo Lounge for more info.

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