Fugly

I’m about to change the way you think about urban, metrosexual, slacker furniture.

Beanbag chairs are something you find in dirty apartments with bong-water soaked carpet. Beanbag chairs reek of patchouli and stale smoke. Beanbag chairs are usually upholstered with shiny, stick-to-your-skin, faux leather plastic or some form of paisley print. Beanbag chairs are sat upon by skinny, boneless girls named Fawn, or Sunflower, or Moonunit. Beanbag chairs are almost always found whenever there is a pot bust.

The Sumo bean bags are different. These things are like actual pieces of furniture. I know because I’ve been sitting in the one they sent to me for 4 days now, smoking, spilling beer and bong-water all over it and beating it with the limp, lifeless body of some hippie girl named Sunflower** and it’s still good as new.

It’s made of some kind of high-tech, anti-hippie material that won’t absorb stuff no matter how hard you try.

The Sumolounge Omni is more suited for hot, Playboy Playmates than it is for hippies, anyway.

If you don’t believe me, just ask Evil Sarah. The first time she passed out on one, she says it was like she was in Heaven.

That or a coma.

I swear to God, if it was snowing outside, you could take this thing to a hill and use it as a sled.

It’s that tough.

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