I-Mockery

We all love bean bag chairs right? Of course we do. They were the greatest places to plant your ass for a few hours back in the day, but what about when you get a lil’ older? Yeah, those bean bag chairs somehow get quickly replaced by grown-up furniture from IKEA ‘n what have you, but what fun is that? Sumo has thankfully come to the rescue with the “Porsche” of bean bag chairs in the form of the Omni. This thing is a massive bead-filled lounge chair/pillow, and as you can see, it can fit my entire body on it with room to spare. I’m a fairly tall guy at 6’3?, so I’m definitely impressed that there’s more than enough space on it for me – plus it can take on a variety of shapes for whatever position you want to sit in.

Now, if you’re like me, you’ve destroyed quite a few bean bag chairs in your time whenever a “chair fight” broke out or you simply scraped it up against the edge of a table. That won’t be the case with this thing though, because it’s totally tear-proof, so feel free to beat the hell out of it. It’s a chair, it’s a pillow… it’s even a punching bag. And the same goes for their little Otto seat, which also makes for a great foot rest when combined with the Omni.

The one thing I do have a problem with is that they chose the wrong person to model the Omni on their site. I’m clearly the better choice, don’t you think?

No contest if you ask me.

I am also hereby making a formal declaration of WAR to the Newgrounds staff. You see, my chums over there also got some of these Sumo Omni chairs, and I can’t think of a more television-broadcast-worthy event than our two sites duking it out in a no holds barred, every man for himself giant Sumo chair-pillow fight. It could be bloody, it could result in the deaths of a few, it could even be erotic. er wait, ignore that last part. What I do know is that it would make for some damned good TV. I’ve got my Sumo Omni and Otto. and I’m ready for WAR. They say these things are stain proof, but I wanna put it to the test when the blood of every Newgrounds staff member is splattered upon my Omni. Lock the doors to your office if you like, Newgrounds, they won’t be able to withstand the brute force of the Sumo Omni when it comes crashing down upon them! And while I’m destroying them with my bean-filled might, I’ll make sure that the radio is blasting Billy Idol’s new “Happy Holidays” album so that’s the last thing they ever hear.

All I need is a plane ticket to Philadelphia and this will happen. Somebody please make this happen. Now.

Thanks again to Sumo for my new chair / weapon of choice. If you’re interested in purchasing one of these, they’re having a Christmas sale right now, so I suggest getting ’em when you can save an extra 20 bux off the normal price.

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