In Bubble Wrap

Aug 25, 2006

Ann Tancio


This Is Worth the Superlatives!

When it comes to expertise, there aren’t too many things inBubbleGuy can lay claim to. He knows music, but heck, he never even learned to correctly read music. He knows relationships, but you obviously can’t call someone an expert at relationships when they all have ended…in one way or another. And he knows his business books, but when you stack inBubbleGuy up against 8cr’s resident business book junkie (more on him later), iBGuy really doesn’t measure up. But if there’s one thing your inBubbleFriend has mastered, one area where he could possible be referred to as the “preeminent ______ of our time,” one action that most people just do without thought or critique, it is SITTING. Man, you should see him sit. He can do it for hours – just sit there all happy and full of childlike glee. And you, all of you, you all work hard and deserve some good sittin’ too. That’s why today, we are featuring the most interchangeable, most versatile, most durable, and by far the most versatile bean stuffed chair (and more) EVER. It is called The Omni, and inBubbleGuy is totally and completely geeked by this thing.


You can’t even call the Omni a chair because it is so versatile. This thing – which has caused inBubbleGuy to dive headfirst into the pool of superlatives, a pool he usually doesn’t dip into – is so versatile it can transform from one variety of chair to another, then to a love-seat, a lounge, a floor pillow, and if you’re just a bit smaller than inBubbleGuy, a backup bed.

Now, I want you all to both remember and forget those circular bean bag chairs of youth, the ones that lasted about two days before the styrofoam beans spewed throughout the house, which always lead to severely disappointed children and angry parents. Those things were small, rigid, and ultimately, not durable enough to justify the cost. The Omni, though, is rectangular and made from a material so durable it could probably be found in an Army/Navy surplus store or used for an ultra-tent that serious wilderness campers might need. It’s really strong and durable, which might make you think that it might not be too comfortable. Wrong! It’s not silky smooth, but the material is certainly more comfortable than inBubbleGuy’s 1970’s grandma couch.

Gosh! inBubbleGuy really can’t even suppress his total satisfaction with Omni. What else should you know? Oh, iBGuy now wants to write his copy while seated in his new most comfortable thing ever. In fact, Guy can’t think of too many places the Omni would not be welcomed. Different colors make it suitable for casual as well as a bit formal. I nice, I don’t know, beige or something, would be perfect for the corner of the office, and any color works for movie watching. iBGuy was sent a red one, as you can see, and it has since been hijacked. Now it seems to be Todd’s lounge as he moves about the office to speak to people one at a time.

Oh! Oh! Oh! I know some of you are in college, and I know some of you have kids in college. Buy the Omni for yourself or children for the dorm room or off-campus apartment. This is absolutely necessary. I can’t stress enough how perfect the Omni is for the college student who sometimes needs to find a different room in which to study. They can just pick it up, move it around, and bam, a new study space. Or, if they meet a cute other, and want to curl up in front of a really horrible but ultimately fantastic romantic comedy….perfect!!!

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