Lust Gadget

Apr 19, 2013

Ann Tancio

Review: Sumo Gigantor Bean Bag Chair

That’s right, I said a bean bag chair. Those of you who don’t know me probably immediately pictured either an overweight 35-year-old with the maturity level rivaled by most 3rd graders, or a bro with his hat on backwards smashing empties against his forehead. I promise you, the reality is worse, but that’s beside the point. This is a bean bag chair for grown-ass-men. Or women. I guess….. Let’s start with the tech specs:


  • Size – 86″ x 60″ x 40″ (yeah, its fucking HUGE)
  • Removable micro suede cover zips off to machine wash (they have a corduroy cover too, but I didn’t think that would be as comfortable)
  • Stays fluffy and full, will never go flat
  • Made with 100% Polyester Fiber
  • Price: $415 (plus free shipping, which is no small matter since..)
  • Weight: 78lbs (…ITS FLIPPIN HEAVY)

My first impression when I took it out and got it all set up (you see, the bean bag and shell are separate) was,

“Holy balls! I just wasted $400 on a giant blob filled with polyester. I am an idiot.”

It looks rather stupid the first time it gets set up as it has not had a chance to settle. I wish I had taken a picture of that, but I didn’t so, just image a black blob standing about 4 feet high looking like it could maybe seat 1 person not very comfortably.

I let it sit for a day, per their instructions, then sat down, the feeling of trepidation palpable (that’s right, I know words) as I moved toward it, about to find out if my investment was the biggest waste of money since I bought the pills from that infomercial. The second buttocks met suede, all my misgivings washed away in a wave of pure joy only known by those that have experienced the relaxation of the most comfortable seating apparatus ever created. Remember this is still a bean bag chair, so its maximum comfort potential wouldn’t be reached until after the break in period. That being said, within 15 minutes of lounging for the first time to watch some TV, I fell asleep for 3 hours. That’s right, comfortable enough to lull me to sleep in spite of my excitement over getting to use it for the first time.

Comfort and capacity

One of the greatest things about a bean bag chair, especially one of such size, is the multitude of positions you can mold it into. Feel like laying on your stomach at a 45 degree angle like one of those semi up-right massage chairs? Prefer sitting up indian style? Want to exacerbate your mommy issues by curling up in the fetal position in the indent you just dug out of the middle to simulate your mother’s womb? You can do it all. It can also flatten out a bit to accommodate more people. I fluffed up the back and pressed down the front and had 4 people sitting on it in almost stadium style seating comfortably. Of course, legs were dangling off the chair, but still pretty impressive in my book. I regularly have a friend on it with me and you can cuddle or just sit next to each other, depending on your comfort level with the person, extremely easily. It’s great for gaming as you can lean back into it, get great head support and you can hold the controller on your lap. I put in a 4 hour gaming session, for review purposes only of course, without getting any annoying pains. The malleability (more words) is also great for gaming in case you get bored with sitting in one particular way during a long session.


The entire exterior zips off and can be machine-washed, but it is liquid resistant. I spilled an entire can of soda on mine and was able to clean it up with a towel to absorb the puddle and a second wet towel to wipe off the exterior. After it had dried there wasn’t even a sticky residue left behind to cause awkward questions when friends sat down. I was more than a little impressed. I have not needed to machine wash it yet and I’ve had it for 2 months. I will update when I do with how that went. I don’t foresee any problems other than it being a bit of a bitch to get the stupid thing on and off.

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